


first steps

by spoke



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 12:04:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7891480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoke/pseuds/spoke





	first steps

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Apotheocrisy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apotheocrisy/gifts).



The stillness Pearl is looking for, she’s never found on this colony. It’s crawling with organic life, some of it lovely to be sure, but so... messy. The stuff is always moving, and the bodily excretions of most of its forms is frankly disgusting. She’s heard more than one Pearl complain about it, understandably so. 

It’s nothing at all like the stillness of space. She’s seen so many amazing things, serving her Diamond. Broad swathes of light streaming into the infinite vastness, stars peeking through them with almost the soft twinkle of an atmosphere. Suns picking out the edges of ice planets so that they might be one vast diamond themselves. Blue stars like sapphires gleaming in the night, and once a pale white dwarf that had an almost opalescent sheen.

But this is her Diamond’s colony, and where they’ll be staying, for now. Maybe forever, though she hopes not. It doesn’t really bear _thinking_ about, which is why Pearl is furious with herself that she can’t _stop._

Dancing... helps. Though not in the way she’d like. She isn’t even sure anything _can_ help in the way she’d like, given that she’s never worked out what that _is._ It’s not as if one leaves the service of her Diamond. So she watches through half-lidded eyes as the petals and leaves swirl around her, moving with and among them until she feels she almost has it...

Which is why she’s furious when the soft voice interrupts her. In trying to turn around and give the intruder a piece of her mind, she manages to miss her step and go sprawling across the ground.

It does nothing for her temper, always a tad excessive for a Pearl, and she’s already yelling as she struggles to rise. “How _dare_ you just come in here and - oh. Oh my.” she trails off as the intruder, who at this moment seems nothing but a mass of pink not unlike her Diamond’s own shade (though of course _far_ more opaque) lifts her bodily off the floor and sets her gently on her feet.

“I’m terribly sorry,” the Quartz, still in that soft musical voice, as smooth as her surface, and though Pearl knows she ought to stay angry, she finds that she can’t. Not when she can see in those dark eyes not a trace of a Quartz’s usual aggressive hostility. All there is in her expression is concern, which is frankly bizarre given that she’s only a Pearl.

Instead she smiles tentatively, trying to ignore the faint blush in her cheeks. “That’s... there’s no need. I’m perfectly alright... you?”

“And I’ve even forgotten to introduce myself! You must think I have terrible manners.” she laughs, and Pearl bit back the urge to say that of course she did, because it was true. “Let me try again. Hello Pearl, I’m Rose Quartz. I didn’t mean to startle you, and I hope you aren’t hurt.” She reached out to catch one of the petals still falling gently around them. She offered it to Pearl with a smile. “It was just... such a lovely dance.” 

She took it, looking away for a moment, and she winced hearing her voice regain its usual pragmatism. “I’m sure my Diamond would have told me if it was acceptable.” 

Rose Quartz seemed amused by her response. Her voice was far too knowing for Pearl’s taste as she replied. “We must all be acceptable to the Diamonds - especially _our_ Diamond. But have you shown it to her?”

“Not... exactly, no. Not recently, anyway.” she trailed off, and kept to herself how utterly _humiliating_ her Diamond’s reaction had been. ‘Too loud, Pearl. Really, Pearls are supposed to be quiet and helpful, not to go around inventing things..’ Let alone the rest of the court... she’d been afraid she’d be sent away, given to some smith or warrior somewhere. She’d only wanted...

She didn’t even realize she’d started to cry until she felt Rose Quartz’s hand on her shoulder. “Pearl, is everything alright? Really?” 

“Yes yes, I’m fine ...everything is okay! Just a little bit emotional, I can get it under control!” she babbled, painfully aware that now she was being too loud _again._

She seemed a little confused at that, but she smiled anyway. “Maybe if I helped you practice, it would go better next time?” 

And that, for some reason, actually made her feel a little bit better. She shook her head, because she didn’t have the heart to say that there wouldn’t be a next time. “I’m not sure practice would really help. It’s not as if this were a proper dance, there aren’t any steps to memorize, it doesn’t mean anything-”

Rose interrupted with a slightly offended noise. “It’s art! It isn’t supposed to _mean_ anything, it’s supposed to make you _feel._ ”

“Well, _I_ feel like an idiot.” she snapped, and then thought better of it. She wasn’t trying to be offensive, after all. “Besides, what would a Quartz know about art? You’re all soldiers!” Rose’s expression told her that had fallen short of its goal somehow, though Pearl wasn’t sure why. It was true, after all; fighting is what every Quartz did, it was the entire point of them!

That awful expression lingered for longer than Pearl was really comfortable with before her eyes widened and her lips quirked up into a grin. “Can you keep a secret, Pearl?” she asked mischievously, tugging at her arm.

Well, how else could she answer that. She didn’t have any reason to go with the Quartz, but she didn’t have any reason to stay either, so she let herself be dragged out of the garden. “Not.. really?” 

“Good, because it isn’t one!” Rose responded with a laugh. Then she shrugged thoughtfully as they wove through several arches leading outside. “Well, not really. I mean, since no one’s asked, no one can say that I’ve lied, right?” 

The vibrant enthusiasm actually startles a laugh out of Pearl, even as she notes to herself that it really is lying. Knowingly withholding information? On the other hand, if it were something awful surely it would have been noticed by now... but she shouldn’t lie, even to admitted liars and possibly sort-of kidnappers. “It really is, though. We’re supposed to tell our Diamond everything, not keep secrets from her.” 

Rose stopped, giving her another of those strange looks that Pearl wished she understood. “Pearl... you don’t _really_ tell our Diamond everything you do, do you?” 

“Of course!”

She sighed, eyes closing briefly. “Pearl... you really _shouldn’t_ do that. No, listen to me - I know Pearls are supposed to take care of things, and see to... whatever tasks their Diamond assigns them, but. _Our_ Diamond? Doesn’t even want to listen to the details of _my_ missions. I fight _wars_ , Pearl, I subdue gem rebellions and wipe out dangerous organic life on new planets and she doesn’t even want to _know_. All she cares about is did we win or not, and if we didn’t _then_ she’ll ask for details, but otherwise? She hates them.”

“But that’s terrible!” Pearl snapped, and then clasped her hands over her mouth in horror. “I don’t... I didn’t mean..”

A hand settled on her shoulders. “Pearl? It’s okay Pearl, no one’s here to hear you except me. And I _agree_ with you. But she is our Diamond, and talking is... all that can be done about that.”

The hand on her shoulders guided her forward, and long moments of comfortable silence passed as they walked. Rose didn’t seem to have anything else to say, and Pearl was having trouble even thinking through the rubble of emotions she’d brought to life. So much of her frustration made sense now, so many thoughts that had never been paid proper attention were now screaming that it was hardly her fault, was it?

It was just coming to a point of self-righteous and disturbingly vindictive glee on the subject of the merits of various Pearls and their service to her Diamond when she heard Rose’s voice again. “We’re here.”

She looked up and realized they were out in the wilds, somewhere far away from the colony site proper, and it was... beautiful. Rising all around her were large plants in orderly rows, most of them with unsurprisingly pink flowers, some even with pink leaves! “How did this happen?” she asked wonderingly, reaching up to touch the nearest leaf.

“I made it happen.” Rose replied with a quiet pride that in Pearl’s opinion was entirely justified. “I can make things grow, Pearl. I don’t know how, or why except that I just _wanted_ to, but I can.” 

The rushing in her ears might be what the ocean she cannot remember sounded like. “But... that’s not possible. I mean, I can see it so. It must be. But.” Everything felt strange, and distant, and Pearl wondered why it seemed as if she stood on the edge of a cliff when she knew she was on solid ground. “Will you show me how?”

Rose drifted closer, staring into her eyes as if there was something fascinating there. “How what, Pearl?” 

“To _change_.”


End file.
